Distill your Innocence
by cold-crescent-moon
Summary: Keep it in a jar and put it away somewhere safe.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own anything.

* * *

"Butters, don't unfasten your seatbelt no matter what, understand honey?" She said, her lips pasty as they trembled. Bright blue eyes looked up at crazed green eyes, smiling.

"Got it mom!"

Guilt panged her heart as she let go of the wheel and got out, turning to watch him go down slowly. She could still hear him talking, but she blocked it all out as she watched him sink. Forever to rest in that cold, black water.

"Everything's going to be alright... I promise..."

* * *

He looked around and wriggled as the water level started to rise.

"Um, mom?"

He turned around, only to find her gone.

"M, Mom...?"

The water was creeping up his legs, and he could only quake and sit there, hoping that she would come back.

"Mom... the, the water's filling up the car... c-can I get out?" He asked, hoping she would appear and pull him out to safety. The water was at his waist now, making cold crawlies come up under his skin. The shaking worsened, and he could feel it rising.

"Mom! _Mom! Moー"_

Cries were gurgled, forevr to be hidden in that dark water.

But then again, fate had other plans.

* * *

Don't complain, just fuck off if you want to bitch.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own anything

* * *

The wind whipped the air as he stood there, over looking the dirty city. Keen eyes not missing a single thing. His claws gently clacked against each other, flexing, ready for use at any moment.

Tonight could be a peaceful one.

If only that blood curling scream didn't happen.

Quicker than a flash, he landed on the alleyway ground, heading through the maze of apartments to find the vitcim. Turning a corner, he immediately found what he was looking for.

"No... _No please just don'tー"_

**_CRACK_**

The woman went silent the moment the man looming above her dropped to the ground, unmoving. Fearful eyes glanced up, only to see the silhouette of... a man?

Brown eyes widened.

"The _C__oon..._" She said through a breathy whisper.

"He won't be doing anything to you tonight, I promise you that. Now let's get you to safety shall we?"

The Coon raised his hand and threw something down. Something popped, and green smoke wafted around her.

"C, Coon? What're you..."

Eyes glazed over and her body slumped. The Coon approached and gingerly picked her up before disappearing into the alleyways again. Running through a route towards temporary safety.

Another success for the Coon.

* * *

"Did you hear?"

"Yeah, the Coon saved another one last night!"

"Only a few blocks away from my house."

"The City's much safer with him around."

News of the unknown hero seemed to flock the streets, filling office cubicles with instant buzz and board rooms with dirstractions. Relieved faces and happy voices filtered through the air, spreading nothing but good cheer.

The Coon was here for them. They were safe.

"Oh hey! Eric, did you hear?"

Hazel eyes looked up.

"Hey Kenny, and you're going to have to be specific; I hear a lot of things at the moment." He said as he walked out formt he elavator and towards his friend who was holding the newspaper.

The blonde co-worker rolled his eyes.

"Did you hear about _Coon_?"

"Yeah, I heard he was eating tacos with Jennifer Lopez."

"That's not funny, anyway, he saved another chick last night!"

"That's nice, now get back to work."

"Oh c'mon!" Kenny said, slightly annoyed. "How can you just say that when the _Coon_ is out there? Hey, if _I_ were him, I would get sex from the chicks I rescued."

"Yeah, okay, that's great Kenny, now just get back to work." Eric said, his tone gaining a snap. "If you're not going to work today, then don't punch in your card or else I'll be wasting my money."

"Chill the fuck out will you?" McCormick snapped back. "Dude, you were way cooler when you were a fatass." He said before walking to his cube. The brunette rolled his eyes before shrugging it off and walking over to his office. That woman from last night was a heavy fuck, she didn't _look_ that fat, but God... he must've burnt off all of the calories from that Snicker (c) bar he ate last night.

Sitting down, he took the papers in hand and began going through the submitted files.

"...Christ, no one has talent these days."

He glanced over at his plastic apple with the light up leaf, tapping his foot. Mysterion hasn't called in for about a month, but then again, the mother fucker was somewhere in Thailand at the moment.

Still, he could've written a letter or something, right?

* * *

It was dark when he began to lock the doors, probably around 10 p.m. When he had everything packed up and locked down, he began walking out of his office.

And that's when he saw the letter on the floor.

He eyed yellow tinted paper before picking it up and pocketing it.

"About fucking time Clyde."

* * *

Relatively short, I know.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own anything

* * *

"So?"

He looked up. "So what?"

"Where have you _been_?" The bigger one asked, his brows furrowing. "I had to kepp my ass running around this poor excuse of a City while you're goofing off in Asian land!"

"Fuck off will you Cartman? And I wasn't "goofing around in Asian land", I was _investigating_."

" 'Investigating' my ass Clyde, I wasn't born yesterday y'know."

The other brunette said nothing, but pulled out a thin file and threw it at Cartman who caught it with one hand.

"What's this?"

"A file."

"I can see that dumbass, a file of _what_?"

Clyde's face darkened. "I can't even tell."

Eric merely rolled his eyes before flipping open the file.

"... What is this?" He asked quietly after a moment. Clyde shrugged.

"I got suspicious when I caught wind of bomb production in Thailand, so I went over to investigate. I knew the these weren't the kind that the military ordered for production, so when I found big numbers of these being shipped out to the U.S., I knew something was up."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Just listen."

"But there hasn't been any bombings or terrotrist attacks. Nothing... where in the U.S. are those being shipped to?"

"I dunno, couldn't get that information, but I found something else."

"Is it about these underground tunnels?" Eric asked, eyeing that paragraph about them on the fine print.

"Yeah, somewhere back in 1982, tunnels were being built underneath South Park. Hard to believe, but the purpose for them were gone too. Anyhow, I went down there and guess what I found."

Cartman looked up. "The bombs."

"Exactly."

"Then.. that meansー"

"ーThat someone in South Park is going to try and level the place."

"But who the hell would do that?"

Clyde shrugged, leaning back and drinking his coffee. "Someone who has a grudge against South Park... or the people."

"Can't we remove the bombs?"

"No use, they're sensitive to vibrations, and they go off the minute they're moved."

"Shit... how far do the tunnels go?"

"All over the town. Even the 'urban' areas."

"Do you think there's anything we can do?"

"We can try to find out who's behind this."

Eric groaned. "I'm going to have to quit my job then."

Clyde grinned. "Just tell them you're on a vacation or something. You've been working your ass off all summer last year, so I'm sure they'll give you a break if you ask for one."

"You better be fucking right Clyde."

* * *

"So... someone found them?"

"Yes, I'm sorry for the trouble, Iー"

A hand raised itself, stopping the bowed figure from going on. "Don't worry about it General. I might even be glad for this, it'll give me some... company."

Green eyes blinked at this.

"Company?"

The seated figure nodded. "Yes, company... Good company that I haven't seen in a long time. We should probably get started on welcoming them the right way. We wouldn't want to disappoint old friends, right General Disarray?"

A pair of lips upturned in a smile.

"Of course Professor Chaos.

* * *

Everything should be clicking into place.


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own anything.

* * *

"Are you glad?"

"Glad that you aren't angry with me? Then yes." He said, his head bowed once more. Crystal blue eyes glinted as a smile pulled a soft pair of lips upward.

"Doug, come here."

The red head's ears pricked when he heard his name. Slowly, he rose and walked forward, taking off the face mask in the process. He stood in front of His Superior who looked up at his with a teasing smile.

"Make me feel better." He said in a smooth voice, sending shivers down the taller one's spine. Leaning in, he gingerly removed the sleek silver helmet that encased his face and dipped down, pressing his chapped lips against those soft pouty lips. He ungloved one of his hands and caressed the blonde's cheek with it, earning a soft moan. Pulling away with a soft _'pop'_, Doug buried a kiss in his yellow hair before placing and helmet back on. The Professor giggled.

"You're so cute Doug, no matter what." He said, tracing the other's bottom lip with the tip of his finger. "You've done so much for me... you even saved me from my death."

Doug closed his eyes. "I wasn't going to sit there and watch."

"And that's what I like about you so much."

But the redhead knew better, his Superior would never love him completely. Even if he said so, it was obvious that it was a lie.

* * *

"H-Help! Please! Somebody!"

Screaming wasn't doing anything, and the thrashing made it even worse. The buckle seemed to be stuck and it wouldn't come loose. The water mercifully stopped, but just at his chin, which meant that he could suffocate and drown if God needed more amusement.

"mm...om..."

His vision was beginning to blend together, and he could feel himself slipping somehow. The coldness was starting to turn warm, and his lids were growing heavy. A soft whipser died on his lips, and before he could realize, sleep gripped his mind and lulled him to a sweet submission.

* * *

"...tters...B...rs... Butters...!"

The said blonde gave a violent cough, his body wracking up and down. Blue eyes snapped open, darting in all directions.

"Butters, you're awake... finally." The redhead said, giving a relieved sigh and leaning back on his hand. Butters blinked, trying to understand what was going on. Pushing himslef into a sitting position, he looked around.

"W, Where are we?"

"How should I know?" Dougie said, wiping his glasses. "I was only taking a walk when I heard screaming, and when I followed it, I found you in that car."

Butters turned to the redhead. "How did you get me out?"

"Scissors."

The blondie blinked.

Why would Dougie have scissors with him?

...

Well, it saved his life, so he shouldn't be complaining. Not that he was.

"Shouldn't you get home?" He said, curling his fingers together. Doug gave a shrug.

"It's not like anyone's waiting for me at home."

"But your parentsー"

"ーwould be happier without me. Anyway, what the heck were you doing in that car?"

"Well, my mom told me not to leave the car, and then it started moving and I couldn't do a thing."

"Where was your mom?"

"I don't really know, she just disappeared." Butters said in a small voice, wringing his fingers together. Doug looked thoughtful at this.

"Hey," He said after a moment. "Let's run away together."

Butters looked up at this. "Huh?"

"Let's get out of here!" Doug said, leaning in and grasping the blonde's twisting hands. "We can get jobs here and there, pool in some money and making a living together. We don't have to deal with anyone else if we get out of here together and make something of ourselves."

"But, I'm still an Eighth grader... and You're only in Seventh grade!"

"We'll get jobs washing dishes at Benigins, or T.G.I. Friday's! We'd be better off without the others and relying on each other."

Butters had a doubtful look on his face.

"But what about home?"

"We'll make our own. And besides, do you really want to go back to a home where there are people willing to kill you?"

A pained look flashed across blue eyes.

"Butters, listen to me, we have to get away from here, and once we're grown up, we'll come back. We'll come back and destroy those who hurt us."

"But this is so sudden." He said, looking away.

"But it's better than what we have now. And if you come with me, I promise to be by your side forever."

Butters looked up at this.

"You, you mean it?"

"Yeah, I won't do anything like your mom did to you today." Doug said. Butters gave a smile.

"Alright, but where do we go?"

Doug smiled.

"Don't worry, I've been planning this for a long time."

* * *

I'M SO FUCKING ALOOOONE. I don't even know how the hell I cope in my room most of the time, typing and typing :B

But I love my readers, and I think most of you are awesome.


End file.
